Porch Piracy | The New Generation Of A**holes

Porch Piracy | The New Generation Of A**holes

Many years ago, I had the brilliant idea to get Dave a PlayStation 4 for Christmas.  As I write this, he is working on his 323rd hour of Farming Simulator, so it really was a gift for me as well.

I had a shitty job at the time, and a toddler in day-care, so my funds were basically spoken for when pay-day came. I managed to save enough to get my darling husband that coveted PlayStation 4.

I was so excited to have it delivered. I arranged to be home first to grab it and hide it.  However, when I got home, it was no longer there.  I was a victim of Porch Piracy.  This would be the first of many parcel thefts in the years that follow, including today (I hope you like your bag of quinoa, dirtbag).

I have cameras now, so I see can the dirtbag faces of the dirtbags' lifting parcels off my front porch.  I am looking into a more permanent solution (other than leaving out boxes filled with “gifts” from my 90-pound Cane Corso, Lucy. Pictured at the end).

Pamma recommended the Harley-Davidson Steel Locker.

My delivery guys all know me and would definitely be amenable to leaving the parcel in a locked box.  At one point, I had a delivery guy know my front door code and would leave items inside, right up until that lock broke.  Still waiting on Dave to fix that, but I digress.

This Harley-Davidson locker is heavy-duty powder-coated steel with a shelf and hooks inside for storage.
It is “recommended” that this is used to store your riding gear (which is totally cool too…) but I want to bolt this to my front porch and have a secure drop box for my many, many parcels that are delivered.  It is branded with HD insignia, so the porch pirates will know not to mess with you!

If you are curious, I managed to get a replacement PS4, delivered to my neighbours' house, and managed to keep it a secret, right up until Christmas Eve when his mother came over and managed spoiled the surprise.
Thanks, Brenda…

 

To those who doubt my shopping ways, I present my front porch after Black Friday/Cyber Monday 2017:

 

Alison Soares has been a delightfully snarky addition to Rocky's Harley-Davidson team since 2019. She is our in-house online shopping guru and expert bean-counter.
 When she isn't clicking "add to cart" in her spare time, you can find her at the shop, usually lurking around the MotorClothes® department.
Follow Alison on Instagram for more insightfully sassy content!
@mrsdavis029

Categories: Blog